Self-Destruction

       We, by our human nature, perceive ourselves as the center of the universe, where the world revolves around us. In recent years, however, this idea has been incredibly exemplified as society has promoted giving more attention and care to oneself, most commonly known as self-love. Self-love in its rawest form defines the ability to put and take care of oneself first in all aspects of life, whether it be emotionally, physically, or mentally. While this is very different from the self-centered view initially introduced, it has recently proven the opposite. We have taken what is meant to be a healing process and turned it into a toxic obsession. What society once viewed as narcissism is now regarded as self-love. Unable to differentiate between the two, society has created a toxic double standard for what self-love should look like.

      This relates to David Foster Wallace's This is Water piece, where he goes into depth about the lack of perspective many hold on the world. He writes about society's perceptions of others and how we must learn the ability to empathize with those around us. This relates to the idea of what self-love should look like. Instead, we hold self-love to a black-and-white standard, believing that we are the only ones who experience hardships. We refuse to look past the problem to see how the other person is feeling or going through. This is, unfortunately, the attitude that many believe is the path to truly loving oneself. Instead, it becomes hypocritical. Self-love revolves around the ability to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we've made; after all, we're only human. However, this holds a double standard that most are unaware even exists. Society tells us to remove "negative" energy from our lives. We are told to remove all aspects of it, whether it be habits, materialistic views, or, most importantly, our relationships. It forces us to believe that the problems we experience come from external sources, and we can choose to get better by cutting them out of our lives. So, we begin cutting people out for every mistake they make. Every error, every word said, every forgotten birthday. Hoping for emotional growth, we get the opposite. We become lonely. We shut down our social relationships. We become self-destructive. While we forgive our own mistakes so easily, we refuse to acknowledge that the other person is a human as well. Society has removed empathy from our relationships and caused us to judge others when we cannot even begin to judge ourselves. This form of self-love is a weak excuse that allows us to hurt others and ourselves in the process.

      Contrary to what I think many will now assume about my beliefs, I strongly advocate for self-love. That said, I refuse to accept and follow the current definition we have of it. Self-love means being able to forgive ourselves along with others. We are meant to accept the things we have in our lives and grow from them.

The Rosette Nebula

We cannot all be the center of the universe