Writing for Myself

    Yeah, I do pour milk in first, because cold milk just tastes weird but what's weirder is that everyone complains about soggy cereal and literally pours milk on TOP of each flake of sugary cereal, subjecting it to a death-by-drown situation. Someone might report me for my behavior against their highest policy, the VCP. Violence toward Cereal Pouring but it's too late for me to care. Maybe I'm really passionate about my cereal endeavors, but the main point is if I was really, TRULY, able to write about my real opinions like this, colleges would outright reject me. At least that's what I thought before I spent my last week reviewing old college essays.

    I found myself thinking that college essays meant they had to be boring and academic with just a little bit of spark about who you are. But I misjudged the amount of potential they can have. As my English teacher said, I've been so used to writing for school and research papers that I've lost the spark for writing for myself. I found myself spending so much time trying to gain the approval of others when it came to my writing that the habits became robotic. Pick up a pencil, slant your paper at exactly 73 degrees, find the theme, create a claim, and write at least a page and a half. That genuine amount of glee that came with writing as much as I wanted, for as long as I wanted to, on whatever interest I chose. It was nowhere to be found. My elementary school writing, as childish as it was, was the last remnant of who I truly was. And it's easy to think that it's everyone else's fault but your own, but when the timer strikes and a paper sits flatly in front of you, I realize that no one but me wrote that paper.

    It'll be hard to pull myself out of that position, but I hope that as slow as it might take, I'll regain that joy and complexity of writing for myself. 

afk.