Senior Year Sign Out

     Honestly, I was just not going write this blog post. I literally just wanted to finish up the last of my ap exams and leave, but it didn't feel right to leave off on such an abrupt note. The main theme I chose to center my blogs around were the stars. I found myself dedicated to this theme my junior year however failed to mount up any motivation to do the same this year. And that brings me to one of the points to which I have learned so much about myself and others this past year. It seems that in the competitive and education driven environment that I have grown up in, I have lost sight of the things I truly find interest in. While I love the stars and all its beauty, finding the time and patience to research on ways to connect every blog post to the stars was simply a means of getting the grade. However, this year it felt different in the departure we as seniors are given. Entering senior year, it felt like school begun all over again from kindergarten but also that it had ended as if we had already graduated. To even begin to describe the emotions of this year are near impossible, but I will try regardless. I felt that most of the year for me was spent pouring time into a grade or nearly crying from realization that this experience would nearly end. It was almost ironic that when I was finally faced with the chance to leave the last agonizing 12 years I spent constantly complaining, I found myself stopping. Was it the friends I made? Perhaps the teachers I met? The books I read? The equations I memorized? The chemical elements I cried over? The krebs cycle?? No, it wasn't just any single one of them. It was all of them combined together over the last few years that made up my high school career and before. This year I genuinely enjoyed reading the many pieces introduced to us. My favorite, I would say, was probably The Alchemist, as basic as it was. But I think that is the point of the piece. It emphasizes how life is continuous and ongoing, however the things we choose to do as well as the people we surround ourselves with influence what happens.

    I honestly don't even know where I'm going with this. This entire post makes no sense. I also don't care because I just want to get enough sleep for the test I have tomorrow. It's an ongoing rant that is much like the unpredictability and elongated nature of our own lives, ones that we find joy in here and there. The point is I'm so glad to have experienced the life I have had so far. The people I've met along the way as well as the little things I don't even realize I've picked up over the years have influenced me so much as I am forever grateful for that. While I hope this is not my last blog post ever, in case it is, I hope that I grow to become so much more. 

How I've felt this entire year